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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido
él, como querían terminar con la despedida de soltero
a lo grande, después de una prolongada fiesta con todos los
ingredientes que necesitaban, después de un día de opíparas comidas y
con más botellas, cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a un viejo club de putas, que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí
acabar con aquella despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más bien a la historia
de sus jóvenes vidas. Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo lo que hiciesen seria poco.
Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque
ellos sabían que en los que eran más jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño.
Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40 años.
Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que el gobierno de la nación, los había condenado casi
a la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se les ponía dura
y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar
algún culo, aunque este tuviese 50 años. Estaba claro, que
los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los del club.
Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho,
como también los había que querían que se las tirase algún joven que después de terminar volviese a
empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio comprado en las
tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador.
Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de fuego, – como decían los
indios americanos en las películas y refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a
la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba al final de
la barra para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta
que se cansasen. La dueña que ya arrastraba
sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le
dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni con una
semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música de maquina
a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el
oficio más antiguo de la humanidad y que tal como se iba calentando el ambiente e igual
que sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas.
Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta.
La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos
hacia varios siglos. Ella fue la que primero
recibió en este la primera estocada de la noche. Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo.
Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de champan, al más aguerrido de aquellos clientes.
Se le ocurrió la parida de la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena se dejase
fotografiar con el whatsapp, aún que fuese de espaldas.
La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca…. Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie humana.
Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola a
subir en ella, para que no volcase la pobrecita, cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente,
aunque eso sí, le costó un poco. Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa
tanta fuerza, hizo que se le escapó un pedo más que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar la
gran cagada. Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer varias fotos para la posteridad.
Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar.
Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable valor, por ser más bien único.
Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo,
se ofreció a repetir la escena. Para que todo quedase
bien en las próximas fotos, entre dos sacaron la mesa por
la puerta trasera en donde había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena. Subieron a la chica a la que la
vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de agacharse, se le escapó
como un torrente toda la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que
tenia detrás cámara en mano. – el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que
al perfume de los chinos con que limpiaban el local,
lo barrió como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a la fregona para recoger lo del suelo.
Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel liquido perfumado chino,
tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1 litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la boda y posterior – mucho
tiempo después – divorcio. En el imaginario público, aun perduraba
la célebre noche de las grandes cagadas.
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gobierno de la nación, los había condenado casi a la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se les ponía
dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería,
tocar algún culo, aunque este tuviese 50 años. Estaba claro,
que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los
del club. Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para
saltos de armario. La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho, como también los había que querían que se las tirase
algún joven que después de terminar volviese a
empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio comprado en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador.
Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de fuego, – como
decían los indios americanos en las películas y refiriéndose
al whisky – acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba al final de la barra
para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta
que se cansasen. La dueña que ya arrastraba
sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella
sabía que ni con una semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea
de marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores
también poniendo la música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de
la humanidad y que tal como se iba calentando el ambiente e igual que sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas.
Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta.
La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que
pintaron los clásicos hacia varios siglos.
Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera estocada
de la noche. Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo.
Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de champan, al
más aguerrido de aquellos clientes. Se le ocurrió la parida
de la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena se dejase fotografiar
con el whatsapp, aún que fuese de espaldas.
La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca…. Nunca en su vida,
tuvo una petición como aquella. Todo y que había conocido
a lo más florido de la especie humana. Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola a subir en ella, para que no volcase la pobrecita,
cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque eso sí, le costó un poco.
Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que se le
escapó un pedo más que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar la gran cagada.
Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer varias fotos para la
posteridad. Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar.
Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable valor,
por ser más bien único. Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad,
de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir la escena.
Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos,
entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde
había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena. Subieron a la
chica a la que la vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no
tuvo tiempo de agacharse, se le escapó como un torrente toda la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo
de turno que tenia detrás cámara en mano. – el olor que deprendió
tan fuerte era que al perfume de los chinos con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió
como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a la fregona para
recoger lo del suelo. Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel liquido perfumado chino, tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1 litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la boda y posterior – mucho tiempo después – divorcio.
En el imaginario público, aun perduraba la célebre noche de las grandes
cagadas.
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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido él, como querían terminar con la despedida de soltero a lo grande, después de una prolongada
fiesta con todos los ingredientes que necesitaban, después de un día de
opíparas comidas y con más botellas, cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a
un viejo club de putas, que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí acabar con aquella
despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más bien a la historia de sus jóvenes vidas.
Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo lo que hiciesen seria poco.
Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque ellos sabían que en los que eran más
jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño.
Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40 años.
Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas
que el gobierno de la nación, los había condenado casi a la
indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se les ponía dura y que de cuando
en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo,
aunque este tuviese 50 años. Estaba claro, que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años,
que los del club. Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su
chocho, como también los había que querían que se las tirase algún joven que después
de terminar volviese a empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo
lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio comprado en las tiendas chinas,
solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el
mostrador. Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de fuego, – como decían los
indios americanos en las películas y refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba al
final de la barra para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose
ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta que se cansasen. La dueña que
ya arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni con una semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de
marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de la humanidad y que tal como se
iba calentando el ambiente e igual que sus
clientes acabaron bailando desnudas. Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió
a la fiesta. La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos
como si fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios
siglos. Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera estocada de la noche.
Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo. Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas
de champan, al más aguerrido de aquellos clientes. Se le ocurrió la
parida de la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena se dejase fotografiar con el whatsapp, aún que fuese de espaldas.
La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca…. Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie humana.
Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola a subir en ella, para que
no volcase la pobrecita, cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque
eso sí, le costó un poco. Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que se le escapó
un pedo más que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar la gran cagada.
Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer varias fotos para la posteridad.
Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,
… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar. Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido
pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable valor, por ser más bien único.
Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y
más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo,
se ofreció a repetir la escena. Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos,
entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde había
una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena. Subieron a la chica a la que la
vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de agacharse, se le escapó como un torrente toda la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de
turno que tenia detrás cámara en mano. – el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al perfume de los chinos con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que
recurrir a la fregona para recoger lo del suelo.
Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel liquido perfumado chino,
tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1 litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la boda
y posterior – mucho tiempo después – divorcio. En el imaginario público,
aun perduraba la célebre noche de las grandes cagadas.
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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido él, como querían terminar con la despedida de soltero a lo grande, después de una prolongada fiesta con todos los ingredientes que necesitaban, después de un día de opíparas comidas
y con más botellas, cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a
un viejo club de putas, que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí acabar con aquella despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más bien a la historia de sus
jóvenes vidas. Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo
lo que hiciesen seria poco.
Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras,
fue porque ellos sabían que en los que eran más jóvenes, no aceptaban nos,
más bien extraño. Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de
40 años. Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que el
gobierno de la nación, los había condenado
casi a la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se
les ponía dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo, aunque este tuviese 50 años.
Estaba claro, que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años,
que los del club. Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para
saltos de armario. La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho, como también los había
que querían que se las tirase algún joven que después de terminar volviese
a empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume
de bajo precio comprado en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador.
Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de fuego, – como decían los indios americanos en las películas
y refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba
al final de la barra para preguntarle cuanto les
cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus
pupilas hasta que se cansasen. La dueña que
ya arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que
aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que
ni con una semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la
música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo
de la humanidad y que tal como se iba calentando el ambiente e igual que sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas.
Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta.
La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas,
mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios
siglos. Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera estocada de la noche.
Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo. Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de
botellas de champan, al más aguerrido de aquellos clientes.
Se le ocurrió la parida de la noche, eso sí, que la actora
de aquella escena se dejase fotografiar con el whatsapp,
aún que fuese de espaldas. La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca….
Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie humana.
Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola a subir en ella,
para que no volcase la pobrecita, cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque eso
sí, le costó un poco. Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que se le escapó un pedo más que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar la gran cagada.
Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer varias fotos para la posteridad.
Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos,
aplaudieron a rabiar. Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable valor, por ser más bien único.
Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y más contenta que un ocho,
como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir la escena.
Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos, entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde
había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido él, como querían terminar con la despedida de soltero a lo grande, después
de una prolongada fiesta con todos los ingredientes
que necesitaban, después de un día de opíparas comidas y con más botellas, cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a un viejo club de
putas, que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí acabar
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Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo lo que hiciesen seria poco.
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jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño.
Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40 años.
Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que el
gobierno de la nación, los había condenado casi a la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se
les ponía dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo,
aunque este tuviese 50 años. Estaba claro, que los culos de sus
mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los del club. Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello
de su chocho, como también los había que querían que se
las tirase algún joven que después de terminar volviese a empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio comprado en las tiendas
chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador.
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como decían los indios americanos en las películas y refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a la dueña
del prostíbulo que estaba al final de la barra
para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta que se cansasen. La
dueña que ya arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni
con una semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse les ofreció
no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la
música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de la humanidad y que
tal como se iba calentando el ambiente e igual que sus
clientes acabaron bailando desnudas. Incluso la muy veterana dueña se
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fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios siglos.
Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera estocada de la noche.
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Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de champan, al más
aguerrido de aquellos clientes. Se le ocurrió la parida de la
noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena se dejase fotografiar con el whatsapp,
aún que fuese de espaldas. La elegida aceptó encantada;
nunca…. Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie humana.
Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club,
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Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se
iban.
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Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa
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Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo
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Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable
valor, por ser más bien único. Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y más
contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir la escena.
Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos, entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena. Subieron a la chica a la que la
vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de agacharse, se le escapó como un torrente toda la carga, tanto…
que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que tenia detrás cámara en mano.
– el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al perfume de los chinos con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a
la fregona para recoger lo del suelo. Después en donde
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Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida
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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido él, como querían terminar con la despedida de soltero a lo grande, después de una prolongada fiesta con todos los ingredientes que necesitaban, después
de un día de opíparas comidas y con más botellas, cubos de alcohol, y
barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a un viejo club de putas, que tampoco
eran jóvenes, para allí acabar con aquella despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más bien a la historia de sus jóvenes vidas.
Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo lo que hiciesen seria
poco.
Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque ellos sabían que en los que eran más
jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño. Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40 años.
Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que el gobierno de
la nación, los había condenado casi a la indigencia, olvidando
que a estos, también se les ponía dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo,
aunque este tuviese 50 años. Estaba claro,
que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los del club.
Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho, como
también los había que querían que se las tirase algún joven que después de terminar volviese a empezar;
y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio comprado en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2
clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador. Casi era la
hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de fuego, – como
decían los indios americanos en las películas
y refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a
la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba al final de la barra para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la
puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta que se cansasen. La dueña que ya
arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni
con una semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de
marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música
de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de la humanidad y que tal como se iba calentando el ambiente
e igual que sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas.
Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta.
La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo
como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios siglos.
Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera estocada de la noche.
Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo. Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de champan, al más aguerrido de aquellos clientes.
Se le ocurrió la parida de la noche, eso sí, que la
actora de aquella escena se dejase fotografiar con el whatsapp, aún que fuese
de espaldas. La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca…. Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie humana.
Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola a
subir en ella, para que no volcase la pobrecita, cumplió admirablemente con la petición de
aquel cliente, aunque eso sí, le costó un poco.
Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa tanta fuerza,
hizo que se le escapó un pedo más que memorable
de raros olores, para después soltar la gran cagada. Por
detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer varias fotos para
la posteridad. Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar.
Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente
de incalculable valor, por ser más bien único. Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y
más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir la escena.
Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos, entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde había
una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena.
Subieron a la chica a la que la vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo
tiempo de agacharse, se le escapó como un torrente toda
la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que
tenia detrás cámara en mano. – el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al perfume de los chinos con que limpiaban el local,
lo barrió como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a la fregona
para recoger lo del suelo. Después en donde tiraban un litro
de aquel liquido perfumado chino, tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1 litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la boda y posterior – mucho tiempo después
– divorcio. En el imaginario público, aun perduraba la célebre noche de las grandes cagadas.
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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido él, como querían terminar con la despedida de soltero a lo grande, después
de una prolongada fiesta con todos los ingredientes
que necesitaban, después de un día de opíparas comidas y con más botellas, cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a un viejo club de
putas, que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí acabar con aquella despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más bien a la historia de sus jóvenes vidas.
Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo lo
que hiciesen seria poco.
Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque ellos sabían que en los que eran más jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño.
Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40 años.
Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que el gobierno
de la nación, los había condenado casi a la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se les
ponía dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar
algún culo, aunque este tuviese 50 años. Estaba claro, que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los del club.
Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho, como también los había que querían que
se las tirase algún joven que después de terminar volviese a empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo
lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de
bajo precio comprado en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el
mostrador. Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más
litros ingeridos de agua de fuego, – como decían los indios
americanos en las películas y refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo
que estaba al final de la barra para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por
cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta que
se cansasen. La dueña que ya arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias,
le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni con una semana lo
sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse
les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas
señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de la humanidad y
que tal como se iba calentando el ambiente e igual que
sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas. Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió
a la fiesta. La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena
conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios
siglos. Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera estocada de la noche.
Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo. Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de champan, al más aguerrido de aquellos clientes.
Se le ocurrió la parida de la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena se dejase fotografiar
con el whatsapp, aún que fuese de espaldas. La elegida aceptó
encantada; nunca…. Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie
humana. Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y
ayudándola a subir en ella, para que no volcase la pobrecita,
cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente,
aunque eso sí, le costó un poco. Agachándose y
en cuclillas encima de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que se le escapó un pedo más que memorable de raros olores,
para después soltar la gran cagada. Por detrás, el cliente de
la petición pudo hacer varias fotos para la
posteridad. Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar.
Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable valor, por
ser más bien único. Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada
de champan y más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir la escena.
Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos, entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena. Subieron a la chica a la que la vejiga ya la apretaba
fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de agacharse, se le escapó como un torrente
toda la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que tenia
detrás cámara en mano. – el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al perfume de los chinos
con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir
a la fregona para recoger lo del suelo. Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel liquido perfumado chino, tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1 litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la boda y posterior – mucho tiempo después
– divorcio. En el imaginario público, aun perduraba la célebre noche de las grandes
cagadas.
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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido él, como querían terminar con la despedida de soltero a lo grande,
después de una prolongada fiesta con todos los ingredientes que necesitaban, después de un día de opíparas
comidas y con más botellas, cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas
sin fin, decidieron acercarse a un viejo club de putas,
que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí acabar con aquella despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más
bien a la historia de sus jóvenes vidas. Como ninguno de ellos
sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo lo que hiciesen seria poco.
Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque ellos sabían que en los que eran más jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño.
Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40 años.
Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que
el gobierno de la nación, los había condenado casi
a la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se les ponía
dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo, aunque este tuviese 50 años.
Estaba claro, que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que
los del club. Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho, como también los
había que querían que se las tirase algún joven que después de
terminar volviese a empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio comprado
en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador.
Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros
ingeridos de agua de fuego, – como decían los indios americanos en las películas y refiriéndose al whisky
– acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba al final de la barra para preguntarle
cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos
solos con sus pupilas hasta que se cansasen. La dueña que ya arrastraba sus
60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía
que ni con una semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse les
ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas señoras
que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de la humanidad y que
tal como se iba calentando el ambiente e igual que sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas.
Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta. La pobre,
a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas, mantenía
en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios siglos.
Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera
estocada de la noche. Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo
mismo. Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de champan, al más aguerrido
de aquellos clientes. Se le ocurrió la parida de
la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena se dejase
fotografiar con el whatsapp, aún que fuese de espaldas.
La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca…. Nunca
en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella. Todo y
que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie humana.
Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola
a subir en ella, para que no volcase la pobrecita, cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque eso sí,
le costó un poco. Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que se le escapó un pedo más
que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar la gran cagada.
Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer varias fotos para la
posteridad. Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar.
Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable valor,
por ser más bien único. Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada
de champan y más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir
la escena. Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos,
entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde
había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena. Subieron a la chica a la que
la vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de agacharse,
se le escapó como un torrente toda la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que tenia detrás cámara en mano.
– el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al perfume
de los chinos con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a
la fregona para recoger lo del suelo. Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel
liquido perfumado chino, tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1 litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que
siguió la boda y posterior – mucho tiempo después – divorcio.
En el imaginario público, aun perduraba la célebre noche de las grandes cagadas.
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a un viejo club de putas, que tampoco eran jóvenes,
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vidas. Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba
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Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque ellos sabían que
en los que eran más jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño.
Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40 años.
Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas
que el gobierno de la nación, los había condenado casi a
la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se les ponía dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo, aunque este tuviese 50 años.
Estaba claro, que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los del
club. Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho, como
también los había que querían que se las tirase algún joven que después de terminar volviese a empezar; y
esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio comprado en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador.
Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de fuego, – como decían los indios americanos en las
películas y refiriéndose al whisky –
acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba al
final de la barra para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas
hasta que se cansasen. La dueña que ya arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni con una semana lo sacarían.
Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música
de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas
señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de la humanidad y que tal como se iba calentando
el ambiente e igual que sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas.
Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta. La
pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas,
mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios siglos.
Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera estocada de la noche.
Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo. Cuando
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Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola a subir en ella, para que no volcase la pobrecita,
cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque eso sí,
le costó un poco. Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que se le escapó un pedo
más que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar la gran cagada.
Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer varias
fotos para la posteridad. Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,
… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar. Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí,
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Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo, se ofreció a
repetir la escena. Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos, entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde había
una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena.
Subieron a la chica a la que la vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de
agacharse, se le escapó como un torrente toda la carga,
tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que tenia detrás cámara en mano.
– el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al perfume de los chinos con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a la fregona para recoger
lo del suelo. Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel liquido perfumado chino, tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1 litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la boda y posterior –
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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido él, como querían terminar
con la despedida de soltero a lo grande, después de una prolongada
fiesta con todos los ingredientes que necesitaban, después de un día de opíparas comidas y con más botellas,
cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a un viejo club de putas, que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí
acabar con aquella despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más bien a la historia de sus jóvenes vidas.
Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo
lo que hiciesen seria poco.
Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque ellos sabían que en los que eran más jóvenes,
no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño. Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores
de 40 años. Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que el gobierno de la nación, los había condenado casi a
la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se les ponía dura y que de cuando en cuando
les apetecería, tocar algún culo, aunque este tuviese
50 años. Estaba claro, que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los del club.
Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho, como
también los había que querían que se las tirase algún joven que después de terminar
volviese a empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no
lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio comprado en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2
clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador.
Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de fuego,
– como decían los indios americanos en las películas
y refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba al final de la barra para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta que se
cansasen. La dueña que ya arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni con una semana
lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a
bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo
de la humanidad y que tal como se iba calentando el ambiente e igual que sus
clientes acabaron bailando desnudas. Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta.
La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios
siglos. Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la
primera estocada de la noche. Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo.
Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de
champan, al más aguerrido de aquellos clientes. Se le ocurrió la parida
de la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena se dejase fotografiar con el whatsapp, aún que
fuese de espaldas. La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca….
Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie humana.
Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y
ayudándola a subir en ella, para que no volcase la pobrecita,
cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque eso sí, le costó
un poco. Agachándose y en cuclillas encima
de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que se le escapó un pedo más que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar la gran cagada.
Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer varias fotos para la posteridad.
Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos,
aplaudieron a rabiar. Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido pintar un lienzo
posiblemente de incalculable valor, por ser más bien único.
Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y más contenta que un ocho, como
tenía necesidad, de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir la escena.
Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos, entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena. Subieron a la chica
a la que la vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de agacharse,
se le escapó como un torrente toda la carga, tanto… que
salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que tenia detrás cámara en mano.
– el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al
perfume de los chinos con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió como
un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a la fregona para recoger lo del suelo.
Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel liquido perfumado chino, tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1
litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la boda y posterior – mucho tiempo después
– divorcio. En el imaginario público, aun perduraba la célebre
noche de las grandes cagadas.
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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido él, como querían terminar con la despedida
de soltero a lo grande, después de una prolongada
fiesta con todos los ingredientes que necesitaban, después de un día de opíparas comidas y con más
botellas, cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a un viejo club de putas,
que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí acabar con aquella
despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más
bien a la historia de sus jóvenes vidas. Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo lo que hiciesen seria
poco.
Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque ellos sabían que en los
que eran más jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño.
Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40 años.
Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que el gobierno de la nación, los había condenado casi
a la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se les ponía dura y que de
cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo, aunque este tuviese
50 años. Estaba claro, que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los del club.
Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho, como también los había que querían que se las tirase algún joven que después de terminar volviese a empezar;
y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio
comprado en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador.
Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de
fuego, – como decían los indios americanos en las películas y refiriéndose al whisky
– acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo
que estaba al final de la barra para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría
por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta que se cansasen. La dueña que ya arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que
ni con una semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí
había no llevaban idea de marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música de maquina a
todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de la humanidad
y que tal como se iba calentando el ambiente e igual que sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas.
Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la
fiesta. La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si
fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios siglos.
Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera estocada de la noche.
Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo. Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de champan,
al más aguerrido de aquellos clientes. Se le ocurrió la parida
de la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena se
dejase fotografiar con el whatsapp, aún que fuese de
espaldas. La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca….
Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la
especie humana. Esta, en la única mesa que
había en el club, y ayudándola a subir en ella,
para que no volcase la pobrecita, cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque eso sí, le costó un poco.
Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo
que se le escapó un pedo más que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar
la gran cagada. Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo
hacer varias fotos para la posteridad. Todos los que
allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos,
aplaudieron a rabiar. Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente de
incalculable valor, por ser más bien único. Una de las colegas de aquella,
cargada de champan y más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo, se
ofreció a repetir la escena. Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos,
entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera
en donde había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena.
Subieron a la chica a la que la vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de agacharse, se le
escapó como un torrente toda la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que tenia
detrás cámara en mano. – el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al
perfume de los chinos con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a la fregona para recoger lo del suelo.
Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel liquido perfumado chino, tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1
litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la boda y posterior –
mucho tiempo después – divorcio. En el imaginario público,
aun perduraba la célebre noche de las grandes cagadas.
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Los cinco compañeros de Martin, incluido él, como querían terminar con la despedida de soltero a lo
grande, después de una prolongada fiesta con todos los ingredientes que necesitaban, después de un día de opíparas comidas y con más botellas,
cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a
un viejo club de putas, que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí acabar con aquella despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más bien a la historia de sus jóvenes vidas.
Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que
todo lo que hiciesen seria poco.
Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque ellos sabían que en los que eran más jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño.
Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40 años.
Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que el gobierno de la nación, los había condenado casi a la
indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se les ponía dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo, aunque este tuviese 50 años.
Estaba claro, que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los del club.
Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario. La que no tenia
artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho,
como también los había que querían que se las tirase
algún joven que después de terminar volviese a empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas ya no lo lograban.
Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a
perfume de bajo precio comprado en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes tomando una consumición en el mostrador.
Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de
fuego, – como decían los indios americanos en las películas y
refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba al final de la barra para
preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus
pupilas hasta que se cansasen. La dueña que ya arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello
les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni con una semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse
les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.
Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a
bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de
la humanidad y que tal como se iba calentando el ambiente e igual que
sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas. Incluso la muy
veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta. La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como
si fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios siglos.
Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera
estocada de la noche. Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo.
Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de champan, al
más aguerrido de aquellos clientes. Se le ocurrió la parida de
la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena
se dejase fotografiar con el whatsapp, aún que fuese de
espaldas. La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca…. Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie
humana. Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola a subir en ella,
para que no volcase la pobrecita, cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque eso
sí, le costó un poco. Agachándose y en cuclillas
encima de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que se le escapó un pedo más que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar la gran cagada.
Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer
varias fotos para la posteridad. Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar.
Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese podido
pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable valor, por ser más bien único.
Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad,
de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir la escena. Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos,
entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde había una manguera con agua
a presión y la lavaron.
Después, se repitió la esplendida escena.
Subieron a la chica a la que la vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de
agacharse, se le escapó como un torrente toda la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que tenia
detrás cámara en mano. – el olor que deprendió
tan fuerte era que al perfume de los chinos con que
limpiaban el local, lo barrió como un vendaval.
Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a la fregona para recoger lo del
suelo. Después en donde tiraban un litro
de aquel liquido perfumado chino, tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1 litro.
Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de
soltero a la que siguió la boda y posterior – mucho tiempo después – divorcio.
En el imaginario público, aun perduraba la célebre noche de las grandes
cagadas.
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